Enemies. August 3, 2015.

August 3, 2015

I’m in Seattle….AGAIN. Someone should really help me out because I know that so many people love this city so clearly I’m missing something! I came here with a good friend of mine Micaiah and her awesome Grandma. What a blessing it has been to have them by my side! They are both very selfless, generous people and I am challenged by their caring examples.

My appointments didn’t go nearly as long this time thank the Lord! I had to do more labs this morning and then I started a radiation plan. The plan consisted of a CT scan, which of course, once again, I fell asleep! This one was a little more involved because they had to make a cast for my head to rest in, they had to stretch out my arms so my shoulders would stay flat, and then they made this funky custom mesh mask that squished my eyelashes and matted my hair. For those of you who have been praying that I would get a biopsy tomorrow, THANK YOU, they scheduled me for 2:30. Basically, an update, they started a radiation plan but there are still nodes in my stomach that are abnormal and I found out today that there is a spot in my groin that also showed up. They are doing another fine needle biopsy to my dismay but that will determine whether the Cancer has spread or not. If it has spread I will be doing a clinical trial for treatment, if it hasn’t then I will be doing radiation. I am at peace either way, God has been so good and He will continue to be faithful!

I am continuously blown away by all the posts on the Defeat Cancer Walkathon (go like them on Facebook for all the amazing updates!) everyone from individuals to businesses have come together to help my family and I. There was a post recently talking about how the staff at the Mazatlan Grill gathered up their tips and filled an entire jar for me, and then it was stolen. When I first read this I was outraged at the injustice of it all. I was hurt and I was ticked off that someone would look at my picture as they empty the jar onto their bed. I was thinking to myself “Justice will be served!” as I secretly wished Karma was real and would make them pay. Then I stopped. First of all, that money doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to God and it is a privilege that I have people who care enough to help me, it's not my right. Secondly I had to remind myself that God has been beyond faithful in providing for me. Maybe the person who took that money has two little kids currently starving? Maybe they are homeless and haven’t had an actual meal in months? Or you know maybe they have a drug addiction and in that moment they saw an opportunity and took it. None of these reasons make it right, sinning is sinning and stealing is wrong. But it does me NO good to be bitter, angry, and condemn them to hell in my mind because now I am sinning and that’s not what we are called to do. So as hard as it is, I am going to pray for them and love them in my heart. I encourage you to think about someone in your life that you’ve resented, hated, been bitter towards, or angry at because you felt that they wronged you, and stop. Stop and pray for them, stop and forgive them, stop and love them.

43“You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.’ 44“But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46“For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47“If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48“Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Matthew 5:43-48