Weary. August 8, 2015.

August 8, 2015

Today I am weary. I am stressed. I am tired. I am discouraged. I woke up in a bed that’s not mine, in a house that’s not mine, in a town that no longer feels like mine. Yet again I have to go to Seattle tomorrow and I just cried. I actually bawled. I cried out of longing to rest, longing to have answers, longing to stay in one place, and a longing for family. I’ve been going nonstop since I’ve been diagnosed and I feel like today it really got to me. I went from Santa Cruz to Stanford to Klamath to Stanford to Santa Cruz to Seattle to Spokane to Seattle to Spokane and now to Seattle again. I think I am craving stability, answers, and familiarity. I don’t exactly know, I just feel exhausted. I took today to be by myself and I just prayed that the Lord would help me change my attitude and give me a supernatural energy to continue on. One more week, I am praying just one more week and then I will actually have answers and start treatment. Thank you all for being supportive during this. I know that this is necessary to fight for my life and I don’t want to let the weariness get me down. Please pray that I can keep a positive attitude. Also if you have any advice on how to make my trips to Seattle more enjoyable please tell me! I have seen and done everything downtown and I would love to see the more laid back, less touristy part of Seattle.

That being said I am leaving in the early a.m. and I am driving my Sisters car to Seattle where I will meet up with her. I have a meeting with the specialists on Tuesday and we will discuss the stomach biopsy.

I will finish the blog about conflict I promise! I’m just stressed today and needing to take some me time, I’m sure you all understand!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Matthew 11:28-29