Your Last Day. August 25, 2015.

August 25, 2015

My cold/flu thing is finally going away! Mom claims it’s the juice, I don’t know about that I think maybe it’s the fact that I took a 2 hour bath while I watched Lord of the Rings, that seems like a cure. Radiation hasn’t made me sick yet!

Our neighbor here at the cancer house has Merkel Cell Cancer like me. Isn’t it cool that God did that? I mean of all the different cancers and people she is right next to us. Anyway last night she came home from nearly the end of her radiation and found out that the cancer has spread and she now has to come back for a clinical trial. It hit me hard; the realization that just because we are doing radiation doesn’t mean we will be done. I had a moment there where I had to think about the fact that I could get done with these 6 weeks of radiation only to find out that I have cancer somewhere else. She handled it really well and I am so proud of her but please keep her in your prayers. I’m going to choose to move forward in my treatment knowing that I have no control over what happens and being scared and worried won’t change what happens!

Rose mentioned something that I really relate to, she said she isn’t afraid of dying, she’s afraid of leaving her family behind. That’s been one of my biggest fears throughout this, what will it do to the ones I love if I died? The reality is, we never know when our time will come. Who will you leave behind? We may not be able to control when we leave this Earth, but we can control who we leave and what we leave behind.  If you were to leave today would your loved ones be okay? Would they know that you love them? I want to leave knowing that I left nothing unsaid, that I resolved things and didn’t leave anger or hate, I want to leave knowing that I made a difference and made an impact, I want to leave knowing that I glorified God, and as much as I hate the saying “Live like you’re dying” how radically does that change the way you spend your day to day life? Would you waste your time being angry, or waste time getting involved in petty drama? Would you spend your last days sleeping or sitting in front of the T.V.? Would you spend your time complaining or being depressed? Would you waste your time being afraid or insecure? What would you do on your last day? Who would you spend it with? What things would you say? What relationships would you fix? These things can be really revealing to you. It can reveal who is most important to you, what you might need to get rid of in your life, what you need to stop doing, etc.

Challenge yourself tomorrow, wake up and pretend that it really is your last day on Earth. See what happens! See what people you spend time with, what things you do, what things you say, and also pay attention to the people you DON'T see and the things you DON'T say, maybe those people and things shouldn't be a part of your life.