Fellowship. June 27, 2015

June 27, 2015

My parents came today, praise God that they have the summer off and that they got here safe! The Lord showed His blessings today as Camp was so generous and had the resources to host them and set them up with a room. Camp has saved my life so far, kind of literally!

When I woke up I laid on the pillow and played the day over and over in my head. It felt like a distant dream or a movie I watched. As reality sunk in I had another moment of fear and hurt and I had a great bawl sesh. It has been a lot harder today because there aren’t doctors or people or information or labs or tests or kids. Just silence and stillness. I feel like that is when the real testing of your faith comes. If you can lean on God and find peace in the stillness when there is nothing to distract you from your thoughts.

It’s so comforting to have my parents here, they are the best support I could ever dream of. They are my rocks outside of Christ and they love and care about me unconditionally. It’s hard to see them in pain, I know they truly want to be strong and show me that but everyone has their moments. It comes and goes in waves. I hate seeing them cry, it literally breaks my heart.

I got some really encouraging words today from people. Ty wrote me a really lovely post on Facebook and Michelle wrote me a card that made me cry. Mom and I were talking today about what not to say. “At least it’s curable!” “Hang in there!” “It’s not a death sentence!” “You’re one tough son of a bitch!” We had a good laugh at that one, “you’re one tough son of a bitch.” It definitely brought me zero comfort so if that’s what they were going for they missed the mark but I have to give them some credit because it made for a good laugh!

I will never again underestimate the power of words. The fact that people take the time to comfort me and send me encouragement has really made a huge impact on the way I have traveled down this road so far. Sometimes you want to say something but insecurity holds you back, sometimes time holds you back, things get in the way, I understand. But make the time. Every single message, card, text, phone call, comment ,and like that I’ve gotten has given me strength and courage in my Cancer battle. Every time I stop to get scared the Lord has sent an encouraging word through my friends and family and I feel brave.

The Lord showed me today the importance of community, fellowship, and the gift He has given us with the power of words.